Meanwhile at Walmart…

Meanwhile at Walmart...

Another value added shopping trip to Walmart. A dinner and a movie of sorts.

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Only in Canada

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Only in Canada……Is the Senate of Canada sustained by protocol, alcohol and Geritol
Only in Canada……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Canada……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in Canada……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Canada…..do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Canada……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Canada……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in Canada……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Canada……do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in Canada…..do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
Only in Canada……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in Canada……can you buy Tylenol containing codine without a prescription. In fact, Jane Fonda was once stopped at the U.S. border for trying to take it home.

9 DO’s And DON’Ts For When Sex Gets Weird

The Huffington Post  |  By 

weird sex guide

Far be it from us to dispense dating advice, but it’s come to our attention that some individuals desperately need it.

Without further ado, we present to you the official Weird News Sex, Love And Dating Do’s And Don’ts.

  • 9
    DO: Choose The Right Location
    Gettystock/Ethan Fedida
    While no one’s denying the allure of aisles full of screws and hard wood, getting nailed at Home Depot can land you in jail. Just ask this couple, who learned the hard way that Home Depot’s former motto of “You Can Do It. We Can Help” is a big, fat lie.Oh yeah, don’t have sex while driving a car, either.

  • 8
    DO: Pick A Human Partner
    Gettystock
    This means no pool floats, no couches and, for God’s sake, no animals.If you, like this Texas gentleman, are under the impression that having sex with a horse will result in “a horse-man baby,” you are severely mistaken.

  • 7
    DON’T Confuse Porn With Reality
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    Hey, porn can be great, but there are some major differences between porn sex and real-life sex.Plus, have you seen those people without makeup?

  • 6
    DO: Handle A Break-Up With Grace
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    Sometimes things just don’t work out. This is not a legitimate reason to poop on the floor, hide out in your ex’s attic, or start eating toes.And please, please, no matter what you do, don’t run over your ex-boyfriend’s mother with a car, then send him a text message that says, “LOL.”

  • 5
    DON’T: Include Your Family
    Gettystock
    Family should always come first, but not in the bedroom.When this South Carolina man attempted a three-way with his girlfriend and her female cousin, the night ended with an assault charge. Don’t try this at home, or anywhere.

  • 4
    DO: Call Your Mom
    Gettystock
    Not while shaking the sheets, obviously, but let her know what’s happening in your life every now and then. Otherwise, you might wind up like this British man, whose mother reported him missing when he was really just having sex at a hotel.
  • 3
    DO: Be Kind
    Imgur
    Ladies, if your man finishes a little too early, surely he’s not feeling great about the situation. Try not to make things worse by assaulting him, like this Florida lady allegedly did.
  • 2
    DO: Use Protection
    Tumblr
    Kids, use a condom. And not for snorting. But if it fails…

  • 1
    Do NOT Let A Dolphin Assist With Your Child’s Birth
    Shutterstock
    If you wind up with a case of the babies, go to a doctor, not a dolphin.This North Carolina couple claims they traveled to Hawaii to partake in a “dolphin-assisted birth,” which is also known as “hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had,” according to science writer Christie Wilcox.

    Seriously, dolphins have been known to try to rape people, and disrupting wild dolphin populations with your screaming, blood-covered bundle of joy is dolphin-itely a terrible idea.

Parking lots are boring, or are they?

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Today we explore the simple mundane parking lot. A boring place. Until you add humans into the mix.

Parking lot Pranks:

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A source of many a news stories:

– An electronic failure may be to blame for a practice bomb that was dropped from a jet onto a tavern’s parking lot, a Maryland National Guard official said Friday.

– U-Haul of animals abandoned in Public parking lot

The list of news stories is unending. Who knows how many babies have had their first moments on this planet in one, a Google search suggests, “many”.

The next time you visit your local parking lot keep your eyes open who knows what you may see. I leave you with a few other photos of note:

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Bad car security.

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My bad, “sorry about your gas pump”

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Bad idea and terrible body work.

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Tooth Fairy inflation: Price of a tooth nears $4

ImageNEW YORK (AP) — Days of finding a quarter under your pillow are long gone. The Tooth Fairy no longer leaves loose change.

Kids this year are getting an average of $3.70 per lost tooth, a 23 percent jump over last year’s rate of $3. And that’s a 42 percent spike from the $2.60 per tooth that the Tooth Fairy gave in 2011, according to a new survey by payment processor Visa Inc., released Friday with an update of the company’s Tooth Fairy personal finance app.

Part of the reason for the sharp rise: Parents don’t want their kids to be the ones at the playground who received the lowest amount.

“A kid who got a quarter would wonder why their tooth was worth less than the kid who got $5,” says Kit Yarrow, a consumer psychologist and professor at Golden Gate University.

To avoid that, Brian and Brittany Klems asked friends and co-workers what they were giving their kids. The Klems, who have three daughters and live in Cincinnati, settled on giving their six-year-old daughter Ella $5 for the first tooth that fell out, and $1 for any others. They say that $5 was enough without going overboard. They didn’t want other families to think they were giving too much.

Then Ella found out that one of her friends received $20 for a tooth.

“I told her that the Tooth Fairy has only so much money for every night, and that’s how she decides to split up the money,” says Brian Klems, 34, a parenting blogger and author of “Oh Boy, You’re Having a Girl: A Dad’s Survival Guide to Raising Daughters.”

Confused about what to give?

Ask other parents what they’re giving, says Jason Alderman, a senior director of financial education at Visa. That can at least get you in the ballpark of what your kids’ friends are getting, he says. Alderman gave his two kids $1 a tooth.

“I think we were on the cheap side,” he says. Other families gave about $5 a tooth. One family gave their kid an antique typewriter. “I have no idea how they got that to fit under the pillow,” he laughs.

As part of the company’s personal finance education program, Visa offers a downloadable Tooth Fairy Calculator app that will give you an idea of how much parents in your age group, income bracket and education level are giving their kids, says Alderman. The newly updated app is available for iPhones and iPads on iTunes, and the calculator is available on the Facebook apps page.

“While more money is exciting news for children, parents should take this opportunity to talk saving and smart money habits with their kids and have the same talk with a perhaps overgenerous Tooth Fairy,” says Nat Sillin, who runs Visa’s financial education program in the U.S.

How much kids are getting from the Tooth Fairy depends on where they live. Kids in the Northeast are getting the most, according to the Visa study, at $4.10 per tooth. In the West and South, kids received $3.70 and $3.60 per tooth, respectively. Midwestern kids received the least, at $3.30 a tooth. About a third of all parents surveyed say the Tooth Fairy left a dollar or less.

Then there are the heavy hitters.

After losing her first tooth, 5-year-old Caroline Ries found a $100 bill under her pillow, along with a brand new My Little Pony toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste.

But there was a catch.

Her mother, Nina Ries, also left a note saying that the $100 had to go straight to Caroline’s college fund. The Tooth Fairy would give her another $20 to spend anyway she likes if she brushes her teeth every day after lunch for a month. She did, and 30 days later Caroline found $20 under her pillow.

Ries, a 39-year-old lawyer and owner of Ries Law Group in Santa Monica, Calif., says that $120 is a lot to give, but she believes that she is teaching her daughter that education and taking care of your teeth is important. Ries says her friends give their kids about $20 a tooth.

That’s way more than the $1 Ries used to get for losing her teeth as a child.

“It’s incredible inflation,” she says.

Visa randomly sampled 3,000 households by phone in July. The survey results are based on the 1,000 of those households that included a child under 13.

Aromatherapy- My thoughts that I already provide such for my girl in my sleep

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As a non metro sexual male. Just a typical guy. Why must you have some creepy motion activated smell release object the goes off when you walk by ejecting a million chemicals into the air? “Aromatherapy”

I call it from my shallow male view, Wallet therapy from big brand marketing companies.

I sniff my dirty socks or the bright fresh cleansing smell of lavender and iced latte blend. My day seems pretty much the same.

Do humans smell so bad that ad companies compare your average home with dead fish and week old refuse. (Do not be afraid to take your trash out if this reflects upon you.)

I guess this is my rant for the week, feel free to comment.

Worst jokes ever.

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  • What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
  • If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
    • What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
    • Pick a cod, any cod!                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
      • What’s stucco?
      • What happens when you step in bubblegummo.                                                                                                                                                           
        • What is the Karate experts favorite beverage?
        • Kara-tea.                                                                                                                                                                                                           
          • What bone will a dog never eat?
          • A trombone.